What They Hear When You Ask Them to Attend

Photo by Thiago Barletta on Unsplash

Most people couldn’t wait for the summer. I had to brace myself for it.

I’m a pastor of a small church in New York City. This means that while I naively hope my church will enjoy the summer like a tourist, strolling through Central Park or staggering wide-eyed through Times Square, summer is the season when most people leave, or at least are less inclined to gather with the church.

I know I’m not alone. The decline of church attendance transcends cities and seasons. It also exposes our complicated relationship with church attendance. We were mentored to equate success with seating capacity, but new constraints and cultural trends force us to confront this lie and clarify what we really hope for when we call people to attend.

We want the congregation to know that our aim was never to maximize attendance but to make disciples who regard the church and their place in it as vital for the edification of all. For no one among us should say “No one needs me.” (1 Cor. 12:15) or “I have no need of you.” (1 Cor. 12:21). This requires a conviction that God has arranged us in the body to be mutually dependent upon one another for spiritual growth.

But that’s not how everyone experiences the church even when they attend. This is why pastors must call people to gather with an eye beyond attendance. We may struggle to find a mature Christian who does not regularly attend the gathering, but church attendance in and of itself is an unreliable test of spiritual health. And if we consider health, and not just count heads, then we must seek to understand what they hear when we call them to attend.

We discover this and discern the appropriate response by asking one simple question: “Who misses out when you are not with the church?”

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BURNED OUT: The church misses out but I don’t.

We assume people who faithfully attend every service, Bible study, and outreach are on fire for God when they may be burning out. These leaders serve but are seldom served by others. When pastors call people to not neglect the gathering, the people in this category do not hear a life giving invitation, but a call to keep the same relentless pace. Or, they may become disgruntled with people who do not heed the pastor’s call and serve as much as they do.

The Response: We encourage sabbath. We ask them to do less so they can experience more joy. We discover how we can serve them, or explore why they struggle with the vulnerability of being served.

DISCONNECTED: The church doesn’t miss out and neither do I.

There are some who stopped attending because they never had a meaningful connection with others in the church. They struggle to find their place and no one seems to notice when they are gone. When pastors call them to not neglect the gathering, they hear a call to either ritualism or to appease the pastor.

The Response: We arrange opportunities for meaningful connection with others. We provide ways for them to serve with us and be served by us. We teach them about the formative practice of being together, the hidden work of God in our relationships, and the patience and trust it requires.

CONSUMER: The church doesn’t miss out but I do.

We all know people who simply consume the church without serving it. They have no category for being fed beyond listening to God’s word because they don’t yet know the food of doing God’s work (John 4:34). When the pastor tells people not to neglect the gathering, at best, they hear a call to continue to do what works for them, or at worst, a promise to be entertained.

The Response: Are they limited in ways they can serve, or is the church limited in the opportunities it can provide? Have we invited them to meaningful ways to contribute to the community? If they primarily see the church as a ministry that feeds them, we can encourage them to experience the unique satisfaction God reserves for serving others.

COMMUNITY: The church misses out and so do I.

There are people who know that something is missing when they can’t be with other believers. They miss out and the church misses out too. When the pastor calls for the church to not neglect the gathering, they hear these words as a wonderful reminder of the privilege it is to be the church, and the glorious calling of the church to build itself up in love. Their grief when they cannot attend is a greater testament to their spiritual maturity than attendance without the same guiding assumption.

If we want healthier engagement, we can’t be satisfied with church attendance even in an age of decline. For everyone understands that call from the seat of their own experience. Instead, we want them to ultimately enjoy the call to mutually depend upon one another for spiritual growth, even in seasons when they cannot gather.

In 2019, our church planting team moved four times in span of eight months. We met in a community room of a residential building, a chapel, a local food pantry, and eventually, a banquet hall. We launched our first public service on March 1, 2020, three weeks before the pandemic ravaged New York City and took 30,000 lives in three months. We would not gather again for weekly services until July 11, 2021.

The pandemic, the rhythms and rigors of the city, and the need to retreat were realities that I could not avoid. So instead of assessing the health of our community with attendance, I asked the church to locate themselves and their experience in the categories above so we could encourage one another into healthier engagement.

I know it’s easy to settle for any semblance of success. For what else can a pastor do when he finds himself alone, digging his feet into the sand while everyone else recedes like the tide? When the only measure of success he has ever known was his ability to fill a room? He can pastor them beyond church attendance. He can welcome his constraints as a gift from God to clarify for himself, and for the church what, and in whom, he really hopes when he bids them to come. He doesn’t have to brace himself for the seasons that call people away. Instead, he can steadfastly call them to embrace one another with the knowledge that everyone misses out when they can’t.